I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
