Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
