He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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