My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
