did you get engaged???
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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