Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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