I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
