Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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