I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
