I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
