Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
