sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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