is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
