At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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