I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
