two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
