it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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