My boss' voice literally gives me gas
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
