Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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