Just took my morning after pill in the library
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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