Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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