It's a beautiful day for a hangover
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
