Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
