go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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