i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
