you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
