I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
