Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
