I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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