I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I have aggressive nipples.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
