guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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