puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
