atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We're too hungover to prance.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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