she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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