Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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