i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
