ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
