i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
