I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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