I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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