Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
