we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
