I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
