I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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