I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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