No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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