just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
