I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
a search helicopter?!
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
