Sry I called you an 8
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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