i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
