You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
