Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
