I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
