You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
