Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
