I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
