omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
