I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
