accomplished twins. life is a go
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
