we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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