Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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