my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
