I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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