I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
i think my cat just said my name.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
