Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
